It’s amazing how much can happen in a year, two years or even a few months.
I’ve pushed so many people away, mostly good. I’ve gone back to the people who brought nothing but toxicity upon my chest and left those that actually meant something to me. I didn’t realize it until they were gone.
Recently, I had got into an argument with one of my sisters whom which was my best friend. They overreacted in response to something, but so did I because I realized that I no longer could handle being near them.
Mostly because I felt like I was only staying in her life because I was reliving my teenage years through her and we were too alike and I had to move forward and grow up.
As much as I miss them at times, I’m still a bit less overwhelmed. Someone else is still haunting me from my past. I’ve done some things I regret, but I’m still trying to change my ways and I have but they refuse to believe that I can change.
Honestly, as much as I’m still the same person, as much as the time I still spend indulging in some old habits, therapy has been helping me.
I used to avoid therapy like the black plague. I gave myself reasons not to go. 5 sessions in with my new therapist and I feel better, not the best I cam be because whether I had years of issues or not, it’s still going to take time to figure my life out. Especially if I want to transition or not.
By I’m farther than I was and it’s okay to take steps backwards as long as I keep going forward. Which I’m trying to.