I’m falling but not down
Nor up
Just slipping into another identity
Faster than the washing machine runs out of hot water
I’m escaping but not to or away
But out of this body bag
I’ve been carrying around
Not dead or alive
But walking around
With blurry destinations
I am made up of all the seasons plus the time they stay for
I am many rivers and their banks, the dams and their obstacles
I bound and leap like a leopard in heat
Trying to escape, but having to cheat
My way through the streets
I am drowning, but the ocean will be jealous because
It’s never seen so many pools of water come and go so fast and so slow at the same time like the tears that form and throw
There are days where I can only respond through poetry
Like a vent needs slits for lungs
And fish, gills
There are weeks where I can only escape through the thrill of walking into unknown places
Looking for faces
Other than my own
There are months where I can’t seem to think freely
But through the confines of my ribs
Torturous soul I am
Like a thief with a plan
I am wearing more masks
And more protected
Even if they fell off
And my thoughts are alarms being thrown
I care, but my heart is so used to being barred, charred and ripped out
Rather than just sitting and being fried by the love people throw at me
I lock my head with a fragile key
I’ve been watching, studying reactions
So don’t tell me I don’t know how to read
When words weren’t what I learned from
My language stemmed from the roots of leaves and pods on branches
Reaching out to hold me
Before I fell
Cradled for such little time
Crawling home to where there
Wasn’t another living soul
Ants making homes out of my nostrils
Drilling me on my time let fashion
Asking me questions like
Where did my sense of love go?
So I continued to latch onto loop holes and climb through, stammering for truth whilst stumbling over headaches
It’s like im constantly being pushed against my own body
And my eyes are the jackpot
For my own window
A title is something to slab on when you need organization
And sometimes I just want to sit within the chaos I was born in
Confined in a box of
Cans without lids
I became the tops and sat
On roofs with paper
And scribed a different time
Written over broken hearts
Scripts with no hidden meaning
And clibed through the shadows
But I too, have been eaten alive by
Insects of void nature
And I avoid people when I am too stable
I’m not used to roaming about in the streets without sheets
Tightly wrapped around my brain
Like a spring and a notebook
In twirling with age
Strange measures take place when
Numbers keep popping and dropping
But if nature can grow over and around it’s obstacles
I too, can walk on the waters of my melted mind and
Self loathing
I have been bitten by
The slow embers of the fires
My head has started
I am slowly drowning in ash
As I make my way around the corner
And across the bridges I thought I had burnt down
Tainted eyes and sorrow head
I’m breaking old time records of 3 months
Just alone now
Ive seen more abandoned people than houses, yet I want someone to walk into me and get a similar thrill they get when walking into decaying buildings
Shattered windowless soul, I am without happiness, but with I am hard
Rocking back and forth like an old train freight, team work doesn’t exist with a physical body when you already have your own split companion
I swear that I am so dark but with a sweet twist, bittersweet aftertaste
Going down like grave diggers falling
I’m cold before the winter season creeps in, so stealth and hidden amongst the charred embers
I’ve traveled to more places emotionally, than ive stepped foot in another realm
And you wouldnt know, couldn’t possibly know that I’ve changed
I’ve created a soft balance between distancing and
Dying
Sometimes they appear the same on me, like the same dark shirts I throw on
Waking up and rubbing my eyes with yesterday’s harmful hits
Embraeyceing 