Nature’s Floss

Like the bees, I’m constantly at work
flying through the days with my wings clipped, thoughts buzzing

As the trees, I’m constantly trying to go back to my roots and rediscover the old, body drumming

Much as the rain, forever I am falling, covering vast areas with little to no aim, eyes wet

Mostly as the night, slipping unto the tunnels attempting to guide myself through the journey, light-filled mind

Such like the rivers, flowing inside yet feeling entrapped, confined by this body bag, overflowing mainframe

And just like the world, I am constantly turning around instead of going on direction, I tend to fall off the track, but still run the same course

Advertisements

Jester’s Clocks

Standing in reverse, turning but the clocks aren’t working
Counter wise, counting thrice

Walking in swiftly, motioning towards
the exit door
Knob broken, heart stroken

Sitting on rocks, piled so high
the king’s throne is drowning
Swallowing down, jester’s frown

Nature’s Flows

Like the bees, I’m constantly at work
flying through the days with my wings clipped, thoughts buzzing

As the trees, I’m constantly trying to go back to my roots and rediscover the old, body drumming

Much as the rain, forever I am falling, covering vast areas with little to no aim, eyes wet

Mostly as the night, slipping unto the tunnels attempting to guide myself through the journey, light-filled mind

Such like the rivers, flowing inside yet feeling entrapped, confined by this body bag, overflowing mainframe

And just like the world, I am constantly turning around instead of going on direction, I tend to fall off the track, but still run the same course

Venomous Pollination

You looked and I sat here, swallowing the bitter orchids
They were just swaying in the pollinatious sea of venomous weeds

I wanted to drown, oh so beautifully amongst the glowing creatures
But you were flying too high where even the clouds couldn’t see

You said to me, the words your voice had told you, wisdom is not always born with you unless you are wisdom itself
And I dove so far into the wild forestry

I poked my head above the current, flowing so fast, you laughed as you saw panic strucken smacked across my face
And off I went, blowing into the tundras

Settle Layers

Quietly, creeping it
comes unto my skin
and crawls deeply

Settling, it grabs a hold
of my eyes and chokes
them as they shed their layers

Quickly, overwhelming it
inhaled my very being
swallowing as it moves consuming

Overwhelming, hardly felt it
until suddenly the feeling
was then out of nowhere, felt

Employed By Depression

I keep running away from almost every opportunity I get, especially with jobs.

But in reality, depression has become like a job to me over the past 10 or 11 years.

It’s consumed almost every ounce of me. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or not doing, it doesn’t matter if I’m with people or alone.

Every other day if not everyday is a constant struggle with having too much sleep or not sleeping enough, eating or not eating at all, feeling alone yet needing to isolate myself so that I don’t annoy people.

People tell me to find a hobby, to get up and do something, but even when I find a hobby.. or do something I feel I’m decent at, I either lose interest by finding another interest or I get bored or give up because it’s too difficult.

What seems to be my rock bottom, usually doesn’t feel like it’s enough to help me soar to the surface.

Yet despite all of these things, I’m still fighting even when I’m on my last straw.

I’m still fighting even when I feel as though I’m at my lowest point.

Someone once told me that it’s sometimes harder to let go than it is to hold on.

That may not be true for some people, but I feel as though it’s true for me personally because no natter how much I want to give into letting my body give up, no natter how many times I run away and create a new identity, no matter how many times I try to give up, for some reason, I snap out of it. I find something that motivates me without even searching for it and it’s enough until it isn’t enough again.

Intoxicating Skies

Didn’t think I’d ever need a cigarette     and then I felt the emptiness                  that only a puff would sooth

Forgotten, was the high I had before       I actually got high                                     but then I looked up into the sky
and I felt sober again