They tell you to cut out all toxcicity in your life.
But what if the toxicity is the only thing keeping you alive?
What if the Toxicity is all that happens to be surrounding you.
It’s the one thing that you can atleast wake up knowing that it’s something consistant
Go to sleep knowing what to expect the next day instead of having to worry about change, about the events that will occur tomorrow and the next day and the next day.
I have created and ended alot of toxicity in my life. I seem to keep creating it myself because I feel as though people expect me to be nothing but drama. They expect that I’m never going to be the nice guy, that I’m always going to be the biggest douche bag towards every one who ever gets close to me.
But when I end the toxicity, it’s so hard for me to let it go. I feel guilty for letting it go, but I also feel free at the same time. It’s both haunting and gratifying.