I ran into familiar territory
not looking where I was going words spewing from their mouth while I was staring at them wondering where this was going
I was so naive, so stupid
to think I wouldn’t be trapped into another conversation as to if I’ve gotten certain parts of me removed and if I’d open their brain and climb right and soak my body into their mattress
My eyelids keep closing over
eyes falling back into my head as I educate and step further back
To think I was just engaging in friendly catch up
instead, I was made to feel like I owed them something just because I accepted their help with something
I can feel my thoughts
catching on my gums
every time I chew on
words that keep
getting caught underneath
and it’s uncomfortable
I can see my own eyelids
from the inside
and squeezing the memories
out onto my skin
drip drip dripping
all over my veins
I can hear my brain
spinning on top of my
like a carousel
only my skull is
the seat that my sanity
is sitting on
as insanity controls the speed
Posted in poetry Tagged Anxiety, Depression, friendships, lgbtq, life, love, people, poem, poems, poetry, poets, relationships, spilled ink, spilled poetry, spilled thoughts, transgender, Words, writers, writing
For a split second
I thought you had come around
but you have already turned
into the person I already knew you were
For an entire moment
I saw the potential in you
To accept me for who I am
And just not support who I was
Everytime I bring up the fact that I’m becoming more myself
You bat it away like a player up to bat
Everytime I try to tell you that
I’m uncomfortable with you identifying me for me
You act like I’m a burden. even though you say I’m not
I’m happier now, but it still stings.
So I made my new account.
I need to update my information and profile picture on it, but the URL is:
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged female to male, ftm, lgbtqia, life, Personal, poems, poetry, poets, transgender, transgender writers, transman, writers, writing
To my followers and anyone who comes across this.
I have had this blog for I believe 4 or 5 years now and when I first made it, I used my legal first name as my url and I want to get away from that.
I’d hate to lose my followers, but I want to make a new blog and move all of my writing over to it.
I will make another post with my new blog url when I make one.
Thank you to all of you who have stuck with me since the beginning and thank you to all of my new readers.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Anxiety, Blog, Depression, female to male, friendships, ftm, lgbtqia, life, mental health, people, poems, poetry, poets, relationships, transgender, transgender writers, writers, writing
Like the first few days of school, all excited for a new year
I felt similar towards myself when I first came out
But sometimes as the time wore on
I exhausted my closet
For it became needy of it’s own space