Broken Glows

am I even thinking
of tomorrow
and not letting go of yesterday?

I’m dreaming of a broken sunrise
and hoping that I can heal myself with the moon
dead of the night, shining to guide me with her
tiny little hat
sitting ontop of a glowing head

I want so many things
but I keep bumping into

One Minute Poem.

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Pew

I used to sit behind you
staring at you until
the pews looked like they were on fire

In reality, it was my brain that was swelling with flames
flames that you started
flames that you fueled and then walked away from

I used to wonder if you destroyed others like you stole me
stole parts of me
stole my weakest parts

I am who I am today, but not because of you
but because I stopped, dropped and rolled away from you
like the teachers taught us to do when we were engulfed in sparks

Complaint Caves

I shouldn’t complain
because I could be worse
but my worse keeps getting worse

and my best is alightly my best
and I’m struggling to part the clouds instead of laying on them

Can I just stop fighting my brain and let the sides of my skull naturally cave in?

Fully Tamperng

I stopped feeding my body the nourishments it’s been fed for so long, the seeds in my brain have been tampered with.

Oh, I see that I’m breaking, but is one really broken if they are only missing pieces?

I’ve never known this so called wholeness people are seeking and maybe when I’m diving to depths I’ve only dreamt of in my sleep, I’m really mourning the loss of caring that I wanted to be like everyone else in the first place.

I enjoy it when the universe tries to destroy me because it’s when I feel the most alive, the most like myself, the most unlike anyone else I’ve ever come across.

When the lightning strikes, It’s as though I’m being hit with a lethal dose of my own medicine and that both terrifies and excites me

Because I am everything some people fear, but I’m also more than just a beast wearing another lover’s face

I Dreamt

I dreamt the truth
Last night, you were someone
I recognized but didn’t know

I woke up crushed
Under the loud noise
That was my heart
Healing itself back together

I stayed alert for a while
In the feeling, with the moment
And I am quickly losing
Most hope for something
That was dead before you walked

I lost most sight of the moon
And only looked for the sun
So I’m regaining focus
On the things that hurt
And redirecting my pain into
Something more loving towards myself

Irony Destroys

​Oh the irony of trying to balance on a metal beam attempting to cross the bridges you once partially destroyed
No thanks to you, I’m fumbling again

And thanks to you, I’m finding myself again

And thanks again, I’m figuring out how to pick up back where I was before you
I was told once that, people have lived a life time before they met a certain person and that they can learn to do it again without them

And here I am, with a little care, moving upwards and onwards, with or without you

Deleting and making a new blog.

To my followers and anyone who comes across this.

I have had this blog for I believe 4 or 5 years now and when I first made it, I used my legal first name as my url and I want to get away from that.

I’d hate to lose my followers, but I want to make a new blog and move all of my writing over to it.

I will make another post with my new blog url when I make one.

Thank you to all of you who have stuck with me since the beginning and thank you to all of my new readers.