Find me, I’m not lost.

What is it that youre attempting to achieve here?

Youre barely here
Youre not even there
But youre finding a home elsewhere
And im trying to find myself in the middle of nowhere

What are you even doing?

Youre not sure
Youre not even trying to make me feel secure
You make me feel so impure

Planted Thoughts

They ask me why I liked abandoned places
And id always muster up some sort of reasoning

The truth is, I like to set foot in buildings that many people
Have left behind because
I have abandoned myself more than I’ve stayed in one place

And it feels so familiar, so eery
Like i do at times
And instead of letting my thoughts decay me, I throw them inside the windows and watch nature reclaim them

I Dreamt

I dreamt the truth
Last night, you were someone
I recognized but didn’t know

I woke up crushed
Under the loud noise
That was my heart
Healing itself back together

I stayed alert for a while
In the feeling, with the moment
And I am quickly losing
Most hope for something
That was dead before you walked

I lost most sight of the moon
And only looked for the sun
So I’m regaining focus
On the things that hurt
And redirecting my pain into
Something more loving towards myself

Trapped Grime

​The guilt is finally washing off my back

Grime sliding into the abyss
Everytime I shave my head, it releases 

Me, rips the confined cage open

Leaving my ribs exposed to clarity 

And purity
I don’t need to reminess and hold myself hostage to what happened to me or what I did

I don’t need to wish myself into a better hell anymore
This takes strength, not that I never trip, but I get back up running

Irony Destroys

​Oh the irony of trying to balance on a metal beam attempting to cross the bridges you once partially destroyed
No thanks to you, I’m fumbling again

And thanks to you, I’m finding myself again

And thanks again, I’m figuring out how to pick up back where I was before you
I was told once that, people have lived a life time before they met a certain person and that they can learn to do it again without them

And here I am, with a little care, moving upwards and onwards, with or without you

Whirring blur

​Sometimes I stand so still that I can feel myself running so fast through everything I’ve ever said and done

I snap out of it and look at where I am and really those undone are creeping over my shoulder, breathing harsh melodies through my ear
Reminding me that the bits and pieces of me that matter, aren’t enough
Reminding me, that I am just a speck of dust and she was your star for a while

Reminding me, that you needed me to lean on, but she was your house