Ticking conversations

I spent so many years as a zombie, now the only difference is my brain is alive and my body is looking for it

I spent so many years on a trial for my sanity
30 days turned into 6 months and then I fell off the band wagon and was left scrambling for more feelings that tripped over my eyes

I spent so many years walking towards a new clock instead of ticking on my own
On my own time, on my own watch

And now, I’m having conversations with versions of people I’ve created
And now, I’m craving the old stale taste of burning kisses
And now, I’m spending way too much time on my own that it’s growing more difficult to pluck out my own petals

Calmly Supports.

We were driving and that song came on
And everytime it rings in my ears
You’re there

Just you and I, siblings of the night
With dancing thoughts
And strands of hair resting calmly over our eyes

We were never super close, but you’ve made an impact on me

Without your support, and her’s, maybe I’d still be wishing that the night would just enfold around me and crush my dreams

But thanks to you, you brought to life more love for me

Hovering Lull

Sometimes I sit and feel something so strong
And other days, nights don’t exist

I wonder when my body will decide to finalize the divorce with my mind
Because I’ve been wanting my soul to feel it’s true freedom

I’m hoping that my skin will crack and my breath will seep through my shaking nerves and calm my bones as I release into the night
I’ll hover above like a creature quietly humming inside one’s ear
And whisper such lullabies
As the river carries my physical heart down the canal

Find me, I’m not lost.

What is it that youre attempting to achieve here?

Youre barely here
Youre not even there
But youre finding a home elsewhere
And im trying to find myself in the middle of nowhere

What are you even doing?

Youre not sure
Youre not even trying to make me feel secure
You make me feel so impure

Different Difference

So many different words
For every face
But I cant seem to find a reason
For this discomfort

So many different souls trying to
Ignite some sort of spark
Just to fuse together
When they need to soar away

So many different bodies
Intertwining with mismatched heartbeats
And racing thoughts of something else
Not knowing what to do

Spinal Comfort

There’s that feeling again
Of you touching my spine
But it feels both warm and uncomfortable

Is that you?
How did you find me here?

There’s that feeling again
Of you trying to comfort me
But it feels so strange
Like it might not even be you
But this seems to happen whenever I appear to be lost

Twice The Identity

I was becoming fine
Or atleast I thought I was
Until I let you come back

And now, I’m re-locking my doors twice
Flicking the lights on and off twice
Biting my cheeks and touching things twice

I was fine until my body desired affection again
And now I’m aching for my soul to fall out of all of my identies and form as one