Lost in your own galaxies.

You’re lost in the sheets of your own mind and I wish they were the ones on my bed

You’re so slowly disappearing among the galaxies in your body and I wish they were entangled with mine

You’re no where to be found, out of  physical eyes sight and I wish you’d allow yourself to get lost in my words

You’re so lovely and you have no idea how much I care about you and I wish that you could read this and come back

– I wrote this for you even though you wanted space and I know that we’re just friends, but even as a friend I feel like you’re not yourself anymore and it makes me miss you so much more.

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Dying Travesty

I feel so alone even though I’m not. I’m so dependant on people and I know that I can live without someone , but i just don’t understand how people can jump from one relationship to the other and I’m just sitting here and I cant even date one person.

im too much of a mess, even when I’m solid. when i start to work on myself, I notice things getting better because i allow them to and then someone comes along and i get attached and all they have to do is give me attention.

I feel as though i have attachment issues that may stem from my birth mother not being there and although i had and have parents who have raised me, it’s as though I’m still looking, searching for that something that will fix me, heal me from whatever this void is.

I keep developing these online friendships, relationships, encounter, whatever you want to decipher them as. I go online because I’m a legit computer addict. People don’t take me seriously when I tell them that. they just say “yeah well so am I”. maybe they are, but it’s something I struggle with. I’ve become addicted with the fact that I can be who and whatever I want on here.

I’m me on here, just as i am in person, but it’s easier. I keep convincing myself that im better off dating people online because then I don’t have to get physically attached and I’ll be okay. but it’s worse. it’s really bad.

I don’t know what to do anymore. i have so many things to say, and do. but I’m just thoughts. I don’t know how to put them into physical things.

I want to be social but I don’t like it at the same time because it causes anxiety, and stress. ” am i bothering you? ” ” why are they are looking at me that way? “. those are only a few of the questions that ask myself, not out loud though.

I just want to be okay and happy because ive been there before in a state of happiness.

Am I even alive though? sometimes I ask myself that. I don’t even know what I am if I am breathing. not human, but also not an alien.