Verbal Mentality

You heard that I had tried                                                                                                                                                                                            to do myself in                                                                                                                                                                             go under the waves                                                                                                                                                                     allow them to swallow me as a whole

So you waited until the perfect time                                                                                                                                             told me of your past relationship with the devil himself                                                                                                             insisting that every step society has thought of to help recover one’s passion                                                                         for life is not tailored for each and every individual

Advice is what you sought out to give me                                                                                                                                  although you gave me your experience                                                                                                                                      that is one thing you can’t take away from someone

Continuing the conversation between drifted off day dreaming you mentioned                                                                     that if I go to see a professional                                                                                                                                        whether they be a psychiatrist or therapist and I become agitated                                                                                           at said person that they aren’t there to be my friend or to even                                                                                        purposely hurt me                                                                                                                                                                      that the reason I may have become agitated may                                                                                                                    be because those words were the truth and the truth kills

So on I went listening                                                                                                                                                            Sitting there                                                                                                                                                                        Actually paying attention to the words being verbally spewed                                                                                                then I hear the next sentence

You have to ask yourself, he said ” Do I really want to get better? ”                                                                                     Then you said that you were leaving that day to go somewhere                                                                                     suggested that I promise to give him an answer                                                                                                                        if I want him to help me or to continue                                                                                                                                  living in the darkened shadows that have become my life

I noticed you looking at me                                                                                                                                                          but as with anyone else                                                                                                                                                               I was too shy to look you in the eyes regardless what he said next                                                                                                                                                                                            I had no idea would ever exist to my ears once again until he worded them                                                                               ” Look at me, you’re a good person, you hate hearing that don’t you? Because you don’t believe that you’re a good person, but you are. ”

Thinking as it always comes naturally to me, set in and I had started putting in more effort with getting mental help after he had left and come back than I had in ages, maybe even years but it didn’t last long and here I am back to square one, starting to get therapy again

Advertisements

Therepuetic Awakening

I’m feeling some type, sort of way

Regarding the embers that burst around us, or was it all in my head darling?

I hear things that I only want you to know

Embracing what I’ve ever told you, maybe you’ll still hold onto the way I think

There’s fires that have replaced the settle sparks

Medicated is what you suggested as some type of therapy, be my therapist

Your words are and always will be spilt with more organization than my very own

Broken are we together, but fixed we won’t be apart

One might read this and think we are lovers, just friends though, I guess

Shaken is the voice that escapes my esophagus, you’re still hear listening

While my hands are drenched with yesterday’s troubles, I’m still breathing

Dead is what I wanted, thought I needed, but you read my like a book and believe otherwise

Walking around I am, with nothing but solidarity, I’m still here and so are you