Situated Corpses.

I finally jumped onto the Twenty One Pilots band wagon and am writing this post while listening to:

Car Radio – Twenty One Pilots

“I run off before I even push them away. I try so hard to solidify myself to situations.. to my own state of being but im a ghost carrying around it’s own corpse. ”

I feel as though everything seems to be a matter of ” trying ” mostly because I over think and under think.

I think too much, but I also hardly think before I speak because my mind is constantly racing, tracing the constant circles that I ahve created cycles within.

My head keeps falling while my body stands tall and weak waiting for the exact moment that my mind will match it’s lively hood.

Crawling, sprawling out amongst the fields of my sprouting memories, dampening Nostalgia.

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Day 16 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

I’ve posted more posts stating that I fail miserably at this challenge, than posts without stating those words.

Song that I’m listening to while writing this post:

Philadelphia By Sent By Ravens 

What’s your rock anthem and why?

I don’t believe that I have a rock anthem. There’s way too many songs that I can listen to over and over again.

But if I were to name just one song that I’ve listened to a million times over for years, it would be 23 by Jimmy Eat World.

I remember the exact time that I first heard it. I knew that I had enjoyed songs beforehand, but this song really got to me,

My older brother and I were driving home from Church either on a Sunday night or a Thursday night and he had that song playing. I had never heard it before that moment and I never went back to a time before I didn’t listen to it.

It breaks my heart and heals it at the same time.

 

 

Day 10 – 30 Days Transgender Challenge

I think that since I listen to music often while I’m writing/blogging, I’m going to list the song that I’m listening to as I’m writing just for fun.

Right now I’m listening to A Part Of Me ( Ft. Laura Whiteside ) by Neck Deep.

What are some of your fears in regards to being trans?

Personally, my fears may be different than other people’s fears, but a huge fear of mine is coming out to employers. 

When I was working with children, I was still identifying as female, but I was struggling with pronouns and trying to figure myself out. I was referred to as ” Ms. ” and my last name. I hadn’t asked to use my preferred name. I didn’t know how to go about it.

Then I had an interview at this place and asked if I could go by my preferred name and I never got the job, and I thought by that point I may have gotten it.

At my previous job, I had asked to be referred to as Jay and my boss asked me if that’s what I wanted and he never asked me why. It eased some of my worries.