Lack of Limits.

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They say that there’s beauty in a storm. This isn’t quite a storm, but I feel as though I can relate to some of the objects that I take pictures of.

Over the past few months, I’ve learnt to appreciate nature more, especially the sky. The way that the clouds change shape and the colours that fill the air, they change as often as the thoughts in my head.

They also say that the sky is limitless, and as much as I always knew that, sometimes I was blind to anything that lacked a limit because I had made it possible to make most things limited for so long that I just simply thought inside of a box.

When I shoot pictures, I look through the lense and see what I was seeing prior to holding the camera up to my eye, but because the lense cuts out half of the scenery sometimes, that makes me feel in control. It gives me the power to decide what other people may see once the photo is taken. Do I want to take pictures of that bird over there flying over my house? That tree is propped against the rocks near the river, do I want to take a picture of it’s shadow because it looks like it’s a person sitting on something? The decision is mine.

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Voiced Change

I know that I was someone one, voiceless though

I am still that person, voiced though

And I will always be that person, forever changing though

I am fluid as the rivers and calm like the sea.

Dying to get a taste of life.

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Earlier I was out longboarding, just as usual, nothing different. Just lit a cigarette, had my music playing from my phone and pushed my feet off the ground repeatedly to gain speed.

What surrounded me was the same as it always is around this time of the year. Trees blossoming with pretty flowers, colours blended intogether, mosquitos quenching blood and the fresh sent of fall. I’ve seen the same things aorund me for the past 25 years of my life.

But something felt different, everything looked the same, but they felt different. Was it that I was longboarding a bit later than I usually do, or the the sunset fell later than it normally does, or were the wheels of my longboard slowing down?

Do you ever go somewhere you’ve been numerous times before, nothing physically has changed, but you feel change, like some sort of small aspect has changed your outloud on what you see?

I believe that’s what happened, I started appreciating what I saw in that moment. I saw tiny little aspects, I disected the different colours of the sunset, noticed where the mosquitos and other bugs laid to rest and how settle it made me feel in that moment.

It was as though, my worries, my past didn’t haunt me, but settled me and I felt it. I didn’t feel like dying was the answer, but living was.

Stuck While Flowing

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Sometimes I feel as though I am the river and the rocks are my obstacles.

No matter how hard I try to push the bigger rocks out of the way, I aim for the smaller ones first becausw rhey don’t seem to matter.

By the time I reach back to the bigger boulders, they feel heavy with the emotional weight I gained by focusing on the things that didn’t matter as much.

There I am, slightly bent at the knees, straight back, as thigh I were lifting a heavy box, trying to pick up what I had purposely left behind in the hopes of them disappearing, being washed away somehow, crushed beneath the earth’s gravity.

Sometimes with a strong effort, like a tornado of wind, the boulders move slightly, but when I don’t act quick enough, other rocks gather around and sit there and becoming like the others. Unthought of and waiting.