I prefer winter’s cold shoulders.

I want to believe that the summer is more comforting than the winter, but I’m not quite sure that it is.

The winter calms me as it freezes the water droplets on tree branches.

The winter relaxes me everytime I see the sky shedding little pieces of frozen art.

The winter speaks to me in volumes, when the summer just keeps denying me of my air.

The winter bares my demons lighter than the summer claims to show.

But here I am trying to list the things that summer benefits me besides it’s positive vibes.

It’s rays of sunshine lifts me up, but maybe I’d rather the winter allow me to cilmb admist it’s cold shoulders.

It’s light tear falls dulls even the sharpest parts of me, but maybe I’d rather the winter stab me in the back with it’s icicles of truth.

It’s way of heating me feels nice, but I’d rather the winter show me all it has in store for me as it’s angry storms rip apart the seams of my very being.

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Day 13 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Mammoth by The Devil Wears Prada

Bathrooms

If I was doing this challenge last year, I would most likely be writing about how confused I was about using washrooms ( I prefer to use washroom, I like the sound better ).

Fast tracking from last year to the present, I still find myself using the women’s washroom mostly when I have a job and or when I’m around people who don’t know that I’m transgender or I just feel awkward around certain people.¬†

But, saying that, I mostly use the men’s washroom in public. Sometimes it’s still nerve racking, even after a year of mostly using it. I’ve learned to just avoid eye contact with other men as much as possible.¬†

I’m not sure about in other cities, provinces or other countries besides Canada, but where I live, there’s security guards either in or outside of some of the washrooms, mostly in some malls and I get nervous around them because sometimes they look at me as though they can tell I wasn’t born male.

I just put my head down and continue walking, with as much confidence as I can muster up in the moment that is.