Day 30 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Listen by Sent By Ravens

Write a haiku about being trans

I am confined inside

Not as a girl, or a boy

Just a bit of both

 

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Day 27 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The Song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Mean What You Say by Sent By Ravens

What goals do you have?

Goals:

1. Therapy.

I am currently unemployed and have been for the past short while and I want to start finding a therapist that I will want to stick with and battle some demons that I’ve been struggling with throughout the years.

2. Job.

I have recently signed up with a company to help people with learning disabilities find and keep employment. I feel as though I can benefit from this program and I actually really want to work right now, whether it be part-time or full-time.

3. Move out.

I have never moved out of my parents house. I’ve lived in the same house my entire life and the only time I’ve lived anywhere else was on and off in past relationships, but it was more so just visiting. I want to save enough money to move out.

4. Gender.

I  have been using this time to figure out what I want to do transitioning wise. I really don’t know what I want to do anymore, but I’ve been taking Zinc and Magnesium to help boost my Testosterone levels.

Day 21 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

Song that I am listening to while writing this post:

You Call That A Knife? This Is A Knife! by Capture The Clown

Your views on the cis-gendered community?

Cis people are cis people. I don’t like that cis people are known as ” normal ” and Transgender people and non-binary identifying individuals are seen as otherwise. 

I don’t have much to say about this.

Day 13 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Mammoth by The Devil Wears Prada

Bathrooms

If I was doing this challenge last year, I would most likely be writing about how confused I was about using washrooms ( I prefer to use washroom, I like the sound better ).

Fast tracking from last year to the present, I still find myself using the women’s washroom mostly when I have a job and or when I’m around people who don’t know that I’m transgender or I just feel awkward around certain people. 

But, saying that, I mostly use the men’s washroom in public. Sometimes it’s still nerve racking, even after a year of mostly using it. I’ve learned to just avoid eye contact with other men as much as possible. 

I’m not sure about in other cities, provinces or other countries besides Canada, but where I live, there’s security guards either in or outside of some of the washrooms, mostly in some malls and I get nervous around them because sometimes they look at me as though they can tell I wasn’t born male.

I just put my head down and continue walking, with as much confidence as I can muster up in the moment that is.

Day 11 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

I knew that I wouldn’t be very good with keeping up on days, I’m like 3 or 4 days behind. Oh well, I still want to do these.

The song I am listening to while writing this post is: 

A Boy Brushed Red Living in Black and White – Underoath

How do you manage dysphoria?

I actually don’t experience dysphoria as often as I used to. Although I kind of felt dysphoric earlier today.

How I manage it is that I just push through it. I don’t know how really besides going by both male and female pronouns. It eases the fact that I somewhat still live a double life as both genders.