Stuck in the middle somewhere.

I have no idea what I’m going to do. I used to believe that I was someone and whenever things started to close in around me, things ended up looking up.

Now here I am, 25 years old, the year is a few months shy of ending and I’ve barely even made an income this year.

I graduated from Highschool and College with a Diploma, which I was the first among my siblings to graduate from College, which meant and means something to me. But was I just doing what I was ” supposed ” to do as a human being? 

Sometimes I think that I wasted my money because I’m no longer working in the field I studied in, but I was and did and I’m not sure if it’s what I really wanted to do.

I wanted to drop out so badly near the end of it, I pushed through the two years. I had met a few people during those two years who opened my eyes to new experiences and supported me in many ways.

Those people are rarely in my life now. I’ve managed to push them away. I was dating someone while studying and now I’m just sitting here basking in loneliness and depression and I keep getting a few job offers here and there, mostly temp work and I keep turning them down.

I know that things will get better if I keep believing that I can be someone again, I know that I used to be going somewhere.

I’ll get there, some how, some way, even if I end up doing things on my own.

 

Advertisements

Sick

So Ive been having doubts about the field that I work in, again lately and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I finally have a job that I wanted and need. But I’m not working to my full potential.

It’s natural, I mean alot of people have doubts, but I’m not sure what I want to go back to school for.

On top of that, I’m sick and I didn’t call in sick because I like to show that I’m dedicated to my job even if I’m sick enough to stay home, but luckily I just barely have a voice because I’d take this over throwing up.

Today is Friday, it’s a new day. It can go how I want it to go.

Happy Friday.