Unless.

I refuse to give my heart to someone unless they’re on life support

I refuse to lean on someone else unless I physically need to

I refuse to give an arm and a leg to someone unless they need an actual replacement

I refuse to allow someone to take my breath away unless their lungs are in desperate need

I refuse to bleed for someone unless they are at a blood loss

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Vein Like Substances

Shot down underneath the robe
You were wearing the night you told
Me that rivers only flow when there’s a reason to breach through confidentiality
And I just stood there wondering what you meant by that and you were referring to the air circulating through my body
Running veins gathering nutrients from the heart I once had

You said I had a choice whether to remain cold or to warm up the soul someone needed when they were younger
Here I am I said, trying to travel towards you at such great vagility
My body just looming over
Bending into another shape you’ve never seen before
Here I am my darling

Satan’s Sweet Serenity

Eating, gnawing at what seems to be my veins                                                                                                                           not allowing electrolights to flow through them                                                                                                                               almost as though my body is allowing something to destroy it’s very vessel

Attempting, progressing towards total enililation                                                                                                                       before giving up is even an option and                                                                                                                                 surviving can even be a decision

Never too sure, can’t be too clear                                                                                                                                                   of what exactly can stop this                                                                                                                                                           prevent myself from being such a desirable target

I’m trying to block the poison from reaching my tongue,  but it’s such a tempting taste of serenity

Soul Department

I constantly wear something, it doesn’t glow, but it doesn’t radiate light                                                                                         Call it a mask, but I’d rather refer to it as a piece of cloth that was ripped                                                                                  from my skin                                                                                                                                                                                   It appears smooth, when it is really scruffy on the outside

Underneath, crawling insecurities bleeding through, pushing onwards                                                                                       It’s been molded perfectly, as though someone knew what it would look like                                                                           before it was placed                                                                                                                                                                 ontop of my bones

Scraping is impossible, tearing it off is what people                                                                                                                 have been trying to do to reveal                                                                                                                                       something else

But what they want to see is what they already are seeing, they just don’t care to believe it                                                               So digging inside is what they attempt to do, clawing, scratching at the windows of a soulless body

Decaying Pathogens

My eyes are glazing over with the blossoming of the sunlight                                                                                                             Clear my gaze with the extended clarity that embarks your every move

My heart is growing weaker underneath the sweaty beating rays by the sun                                                                                        Water my slowly disintegrating stringed-together breed

My soul just keeps absorbing everything in its path amongst the destructive pathogens                                                                    Make way for the decaying bumps stemming from the root of my entire existence

My lungs want to fill up with plants instead of the oxygen that they shower the world with                                                                 Tear down the barriers that are preventing my chest from becoming lightened beneath the glowing canopies

Sightless seams

Traveling somewhere far
Where will I go
People worry that this is completely dangerous
But only a small part of me seems to care and
All I wanna do us run away
From this insanity
Called gender
But it will only follow along with me
Wherever I seem to go
It will just keep creeping up on me
Within the dark structures of my mind
Slowly taking over control over my heart
As I’m typing to distract myself
I just won’t stop
Because it keeps me sane
We sometimes
Need to escape
In ways that don’t cause past ail harm
To us
Or the ones surrounded
And when the war comes

Destiny is calling for you
Coming for me
Yelling for them
Crying out
The battle cries
Screaming infidelities
What is wrong with you they ask you
While the bombs
Blow their hearts into smithereens
Their shells carried out in
Body bags
Dragged away from the
Crime scene

No grave yards in sight
No eyes to see anything
But feel dust
Falling
Dirt entrapping them