Day 29 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

Song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Hello Time Bomb by Matthew Good Band

Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy.

I have a few preferred names thta I go by, but I’ll use the name that I’ve been going by for a while.

Joker

Aware

Self-Expressor

Pleaser

Expressive

Revived

I had to look up some words because I had thought of more negative words than positive.

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Day 14 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

Song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Fix You By Coldplay

What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass?

Before I had ever worn a chest binder, and even currently as I no longer posses a chest binder at the moment, I would layer my shirts, mostly in twos and threes.

I’d make sure that my t-shirts didn’t cling to my chest and if they did, I’d wear a sweater to cover up my chest.

As for having female hips and behind, I would and still wear my jeans low. But I’ve been doing that for years. I also wear a hat or a hoodie to cover the majority of my head or enough to pull over my face as I walk into the men’s washroom.

When it comes to speaking with people, mostly strangers, I’ll either lower my voice or limit what I’m saying. I try not to make it sound forced and or obvious that it’s being forced. 

 

Day 13 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Mammoth by The Devil Wears Prada

Bathrooms

If I was doing this challenge last year, I would most likely be writing about how confused I was about using washrooms ( I prefer to use washroom, I like the sound better ).

Fast tracking from last year to the present, I still find myself using the women’s washroom mostly when I have a job and or when I’m around people who don’t know that I’m transgender or I just feel awkward around certain people. 

But, saying that, I mostly use the men’s washroom in public. Sometimes it’s still nerve racking, even after a year of mostly using it. I’ve learned to just avoid eye contact with other men as much as possible. 

I’m not sure about in other cities, provinces or other countries besides Canada, but where I live, there’s security guards either in or outside of some of the washrooms, mostly in some malls and I get nervous around them because sometimes they look at me as though they can tell I wasn’t born male.

I just put my head down and continue walking, with as much confidence as I can muster up in the moment that is.

Day 12 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

Song I’m listening to while writing this post:

Hostpial For Souls by Bring Me The Horizon

What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically?

To be honest with everyone, I don’t really live a healthy lifestyle.

Although I an say that I go Longboarding a few times a week, even if it’s just to buy an Ice Cap from Tim Hortons or to go to the park to swing on the swing set for a while.

I am starting to go back to a Psychiatrist ( as I do not have a gender therapist as of yet ) that I saw back in January.

I also followed up with this centre in Ontario to see how much longer I have to wait for a gender therapist, let alone book an appointment to see one and they told me that I should only have to wait a little bit longer. I’m actually pretty happy about it.

 

Day 10 – 30 Days Transgender Challenge

I think that since I listen to music often while I’m writing/blogging, I’m going to list the song that I’m listening to as I’m writing just for fun.

Right now I’m listening to A Part Of Me ( Ft. Laura Whiteside ) by Neck Deep.

What are some of your fears in regards to being trans?

Personally, my fears may be different than other people’s fears, but a huge fear of mine is coming out to employers. 

When I was working with children, I was still identifying as female, but I was struggling with pronouns and trying to figure myself out. I was referred to as ” Ms. ” and my last name. I hadn’t asked to use my preferred name. I didn’t know how to go about it.

Then I had an interview at this place and asked if I could go by my preferred name and I never got the job, and I thought by that point I may have gotten it.

At my previous job, I had asked to be referred to as Jay and my boss asked me if that’s what I wanted and he never asked me why. It eased some of my worries.