I’m actually in a good mood and I want to document this moment because it’s rare that I actually write about my feelings instead of how I think I’m feeling.
I feel warm and soft and sweet. I actually care and it’s taken me years to realize that I’m not the thoughts that come rushing at me in the middle of the night.
I’m not the invasive panic attacks that hit me when I’m out in public doing literally nothing but walking around or sitting down.
I am this person who has allowed their thoughts to win against their heart.
I am this person who is very good, but prefers to self project their insecurities on to people and attempt to push them awya before they can run off by themselves.
I’ve placed so much dwelling and hatred on my past that I literally have been living in it. Some days now, I’m out of it walking around with a new head and a fresh start.
I’ve come quite far, but I still have things to do, things to work on and places to be.
No one can go back into the past, you can only move forward even if it hurts to move forward. I’ve held back so much that I’m getting to the point where even if I don’t want to let certain thigns go, I need to.
I’e bene holding onto the person iw as because it’s who I’ve been living as for my entire life almost. I’m not that person as a whole, just parts. I am someone else and that is okay.