Bone chilling waves

I was scared, but you dulled my fears
By instilling heartfelt warmth
To my bones that were once radiating chills
And now I’m not sure whether the the dark is jealous that I’ve had some light in me, or if the sun is worried that I’ll sink back down
The seas shake whenever I step foot and flood them with my own waves
Drowning things as I press my head against the sanded footprints
I’m still here even if my soul becomes hard as stone and your heart can sense the density of what was
So tell me, what is it that you see in me?
Is it the way I attempted to pull you from the storm that cascades your every thought, or the way that my heart fills your ears?

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Confined Spaces

I look for you in places where only certain parts of the sun have touched

I find you in spaces that even the moon hasn’t been able to light

I lose you in cities which are unknown to man and beast

I only have myself and nature and maybe that’s okay

Dying to get a taste of life.

sunset

Earlier I was out longboarding, just as usual, nothing different. Just lit a cigarette, had my music playing from my phone and pushed my feet off the ground repeatedly to gain speed.

What surrounded me was the same as it always is around this time of the year. Trees blossoming with pretty flowers, colours blended intogether, mosquitos quenching blood and the fresh sent of fall. I’ve seen the same things aorund me for the past 25 years of my life.

But something felt different, everything looked the same, but they felt different. Was it that I was longboarding a bit later than I usually do, or the the sunset fell later than it normally does, or were the wheels of my longboard slowing down?

Do you ever go somewhere you’ve been numerous times before, nothing physically has changed, but you feel change, like some sort of small aspect has changed your outloud on what you see?

I believe that’s what happened, I started appreciating what I saw in that moment. I saw tiny little aspects, I disected the different colours of the sunset, noticed where the mosquitos and other bugs laid to rest and how settle it made me feel in that moment.

It was as though, my worries, my past didn’t haunt me, but settled me and I felt it. I didn’t feel like dying was the answer, but living was.