Body Ghost

I know this area, sort of and something about it, everything reminds me of those I’ve never foot step here with before

It’s as though they’re haunting me like a spirit with unfinished business, only these are still alive as far as I’m aware

Taunted by the very taunt itself of memories I’ve never shared with certain ghosts of my past inwhich I created myself

Version of my past self live here, born here to someone as a stranger to myself and yet my heart feels something dark sitting in the seat of my legs

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Ground Loins

Hear, the pitter patter of the river’s heart beat
Passerby throwing bones like sticks

Speak, the truth of the tongue being rolled off of the back of the nearest barking spine

Eat, the insides underlining the flesh of the person you used to be rotting beneath who you are now

Spew, the broken future’s carcass with shattered hopes and flowing spaces

Remember, the loopholes that you’ve been trying to jump through with nothing but nature’s eyes following you

Forget, the things that make you feel as though the wasted lands are all you are, washed up and dried to the loins

Time, alone forever travelling backwards in my head as more places seem to be too far to reach other than those inside

Hope, tainted, kissed with the poison of everything you were told was wrong, death created and unrighteous

Tortured Blindside

Some people will betray you
Like a hawk with a carcass                    no matter how many times you return the favour                                               you’ll be stabbed for the times you didn’t

Some people will torture you with what was                                                                   and slowly poison                                     you with a deadly punch of sugar        right from underneath your blindside

You need to take what you know and throw it back                                        make them plead mercy in front of your sharp smile
Lure them in with a snide comment and kill them with your instincts

Menacing Inhale

Air in my lungs but barely breathing
Ribs tightening and just teasing
Me to the point of cloud nine
Wondering where my boy went, canine
Breaking past the promise line

Red and bent running, racing
Back and forth like pacing
Hes not coming back, menacing
Telling me that I’m backwards not facing

Walking and trembling, trying to remember
Joining clubs, such an exclusive member
Dining and dashing, brain dismembering

Fondling, fumbling inside the womb
Wasn’t, isnt fair to assume
That I’m becoming a wall of a tomb

Take me, steer me near
Watch me burn as i swallow this beer
Gasping, too far to inhale
Reaching, creeping all I can do is exhale

Darkening Depths

Here it is, I can sense it
This, feel something
Creeping, wiping
Everything that ever felt right, good
Vanishing, clambering
All I’ve ever felt about anything, everything
Crawling, scratching
At all I am, might be
Dark, tight around my vocal chords
Eating, swallowing the words I need to define, describe this
Closing around, drowning me
We are falling apart and all I want to do is find the exact moment, figure it out
The time, incident in which we started to drift apart
But what confuses me, conflicts my thoughts
Are the times we share that come to interfere, interject
Consume me and help me feel like i can believe we’ll be okay
And those are the feelings that make me stay
The good, the bad, the overriding of comfortability
Worrying, because I want to feel you
I see people smiling, holding hands
And my heart breaks
I see people laughing, running into eachother’s arms
And every ounce of me that ever felt joy instantly disappears from sight, burying itself
All I want to do is hold you
But I feel you fading
All I want to do is wave a wand and crack it over ourselves and have the magic drip from it into our mouths and tell me that the distance is just an obstacle that can be kicked away
I just want to know if you’re still in it, this, us
Is this, us, are we what you want, need,
crave?
Sometimes you vanish far and I’m not sure whether you’re still there or if I’m just blind from all of the pain
And you see me like people have before, but things come easy and difficult at the same time
Light and dark meet and I just give you what i can, not what i need to, want to give you
My heart and maybe one day, if you want it, you can have it

Therepuetic Awakening

I’m feeling some type, sort of way

Regarding the embers that burst around us, or was it all in my head darling?

I hear things that I only want you to know

Embracing what I’ve ever told you, maybe you’ll still hold onto the way I think

There’s fires that have replaced the settle sparks

Medicated is what you suggested as some type of therapy, be my therapist

Your words are and always will be spilt with more organization than my very own

Broken are we together, but fixed we won’t be apart

One might read this and think we are lovers, just friends though, I guess

Shaken is the voice that escapes my esophagus, you’re still hear listening

While my hands are drenched with yesterday’s troubles, I’m still breathing

Dead is what I wanted, thought I needed, but you read my like a book and believe otherwise

Walking around I am, with nothing but solidarity, I’m still here and so are you

Sightless seams

Traveling somewhere far
Where will I go
People worry that this is completely dangerous
But only a small part of me seems to care and
All I wanna do us run away
From this insanity
Called gender
But it will only follow along with me
Wherever I seem to go
It will just keep creeping up on me
Within the dark structures of my mind
Slowly taking over control over my heart
As I’m typing to distract myself
I just won’t stop
Because it keeps me sane
We sometimes
Need to escape
In ways that don’t cause past ail harm
To us
Or the ones surrounded
And when the war comes

Destiny is calling for you
Coming for me
Yelling for them
Crying out
The battle cries
Screaming infidelities
What is wrong with you they ask you
While the bombs
Blow their hearts into smithereens
Their shells carried out in
Body bags
Dragged away from the
Crime scene

No grave yards in sight
No eyes to see anything
But feel dust
Falling
Dirt entrapping them