Day 14 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

Song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Fix You By Coldplay

What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass?

Before I had ever worn a chest binder, and even currently as I no longer posses a chest binder at the moment, I would layer my shirts, mostly in twos and threes.

I’d make sure that my t-shirts didn’t cling to my chest and if they did, I’d wear a sweater to cover up my chest.

As for having female hips and behind, I would and still wear my jeans low. But I’ve been doing that for years. I also wear a hat or a hoodie to cover the majority of my head or enough to pull over my face as I walk into the men’s washroom.

When it comes to speaking with people, mostly strangers, I’ll either lower my voice or limit what I’m saying. I try not to make it sound forced and or obvious that it’s being forced. 

 

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Day 13 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

The song that I am listening to while writing this post:

Mammoth by The Devil Wears Prada

Bathrooms

If I was doing this challenge last year, I would most likely be writing about how confused I was about using washrooms ( I prefer to use washroom, I like the sound better ).

Fast tracking from last year to the present, I still find myself using the women’s washroom mostly when I have a job and or when I’m around people who don’t know that I’m transgender or I just feel awkward around certain people. 

But, saying that, I mostly use the men’s washroom in public. Sometimes it’s still nerve racking, even after a year of mostly using it. I’ve learned to just avoid eye contact with other men as much as possible. 

I’m not sure about in other cities, provinces or other countries besides Canada, but where I live, there’s security guards either in or outside of some of the washrooms, mostly in some malls and I get nervous around them because sometimes they look at me as though they can tell I wasn’t born male.

I just put my head down and continue walking, with as much confidence as I can muster up in the moment that is.

Day 11 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

I knew that I wouldn’t be very good with keeping up on days, I’m like 3 or 4 days behind. Oh well, I still want to do these.

The song I am listening to while writing this post is: 

A Boy Brushed Red Living in Black and White – Underoath

How do you manage dysphoria?

I actually don’t experience dysphoria as often as I used to. Although I kind of felt dysphoric earlier today.

How I manage it is that I just push through it. I don’t know how really besides going by both male and female pronouns. It eases the fact that I somewhat still live a double life as both genders.

 

Day 09 – 30 Days Transgender Challenge.

Apparently I am bad with posting on the right day.

What is something positive about being trans?

I believe that finding out who supports me and who doesn’t can be a positive thing. Usually for me, I over think and become afraid to come out to certain people and a lot of them are still around and respect me for the most part. Although, some people who are still around, don’t accept it, but claim to still love me anyways.

Also, I’m learning things and discovering myself in ways that I probably wouldn’t have not being Trans, such as using the men’s washroom and being as comfortable as I am, (or for the most part ).

 

Day 08 – 30 Day Transgender Challenge

How do you deal with being read mis-gendered by people in the beginning of transitioning ?

Before I realized I was Trans, I didn’t like being called by male pronouns, atleast not outloud because I think it just made me feel i=uncomfortable. 

Even now with female pronouns, I get uncomfortable, but only sometimes because I identify as both male and female, but I prefer to identify as male.

I deal with being mis-gendered by people by educating people, correcting or just letting it go.

 

Day 07 – 30 Days Transgender Challenge

Who do you look up to?

I actually look up to my older brother. Ever since I was young, he’s been my role model.

We aren’t extremely close, but we aren’t extremely distant either, but he knows that I’m trans even though he didn’t say much about it.

He’s 10 times the man that I am and he is confident, easy to talk with, very outgoing and he stands by the ones he loves.

 

Day 06 – 30 Days Transgender Challenge

Who was the first person you told about being Trans?

To be honest, I don’t remember the first person that I entirely came out to.

I do remember though, that I had spoken with my mom and some people online about the fact that I was questioning my self identity.

I came out gradually, but to sum this short post up for today, I believe my mother was the first person I told or one of the first people.