Simply Silent.

​There are words that are louder simply just from not being said, but we know they’ll paralyze the person’s ability to look at us the same way again

So we just sit with the hum 

Until our channel disconnects

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You’re happy, I hope

You’re still sitting wanting to see me
But you have a new person now to occupy your thoughts
You’re allowed to see them, talk to them, feel good by them

Why am I jealous of such ships that I’ve drowned myself in before
Not the same, but similarly speaking
And I just can’t seem to fathom the idea
That maybe someone one day will do more than just tolerate me

Sorry, sorry that I have such a fucked up mind
Sorry, sorry I can’t always communicate other than miscommunicating
through destruction
And I must say you’re looking so good
So happy and I’m glad that someone’s helping you find that
in yourself
Please promise me though, that you won’t get hurt
That you won’t let pain in

I’ve seen you happy, this is it, keep it
I’ll be here, for when you need an ear
Even when I’m not here, I’m here

Escape me, jump in
Run, not away

Scrambling Inconvenience

Run, what are you waiting for?
He said he would always be here
Here he is knocking at my own mind’s window
But the door has been broken in, walked over
Trampled over as an inconvenience

I am just an inconvenience, but he stays because he knows that
I am not worth much
And he stays because he loves how sad I get
He’s slaying me and not with a physical weapon
but his words are crowding me, drowning me, lowering me
into a den of my past regrets
Watching me scramble for air

What have I done to become
such a fowl beast of despair?
Waiting to push them aside, waiting for this to walk on by
like a stranger telling me their secrets one second
the next, it’s as though I never heard a thing
Never listened a thing
Never peeped an eye

Please leave me alone sir, I was doing fine on my own
or was I? I don’t even remember a time when you didn’t whisper horrible nothings in my hole
Please sir, please just stop tormenting me

Bullied Flames

Why are you so negative? You know that people don’t want to be around someone so sad all the time

They just threw words and unlike the saying goes, they did and do hurt

They didnt form enough sentences to bother with getting the facts, screaming of hatred

I’m here. I’m here. I’m here 

But is that enough when the tension between two siblings can’t even be split with a machete? 

The thing is, love does exist but I spent years convincing myself that it didn’t.

My hero doesn’t wear a cape, he breathes fire into my lungs and embraces the angel on my shoulder instead of pushing them off

Hopeless Depressee

​People used to call me a leach, but he has been nothing but a bottom feeder towards me, sucking me of my self worth
He yells at me and I don’t always tune him in because hes determined to holler until I come at his becking call
I can’t see anything but haze

I can’t feel anything but everything at once

And I can’t desire anything but a mixture of death and decay and love
I just want to give in and little by little, I’m putting the icing on his cake

And step by step, hes ripping my bones out and laying them across my spine and using it as a ladder to lure me in
And I’m still here, but I’m crying for hope

Because it’s still in me and he knows that