Welcoming a new sunset when I wasn’t ready to get out of bed was like pushing through the surface of a body of water while having the weight of the world pushing into your chest like a heart attack ticking to the sight of a bomb

Tick, tick, eating around the cloud, awaiting the same hours with a new state of mind, floating softly but heavily into another personality.

“, you’re crazy. ” they’d say following cackles and at first, I laughed with them, realizing they were at me, bellowing cries falling out from my eyes

I kept going and I lifted myself out of the pit, screaming for help but I climbed anyways and I saw the world shrinking as I was growing taller than the bullies that made me small for years

I spit my pain at those who deserved joy only to realize it was oil and I was fueling their dried out fires

” be yourself ” I was told, but was never shown how to love myself after breaking my own heart, if I ever had one even when the devil kissed his teeth I knew from then on that my penis was cut off by Satan himself, waiting for me to discover that I needed to pay for the sins of my mother.


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