You know what’s really sad?
The fact that you know deep down inside that things could go well with someone, but the surface is keeping you two apart.
Your heart screams softness but your head thinks you don’t belong together
I’m so used to destroying good things that I end up not being able to tell what’s good from bad anymore after a while.
I miss someone when they’re gone and sometimes actually miss them when they’re close, but I don’t let anyone that close anymore.. Not easily. Not without a fight.
I’m slowly getting to a better place and I’ve learnt that some people aren’t meant to see you change
I need to stop comparing people to other people and myself to other peoples well or to even my past self.
I’ve done alot of bad things, said alot of cruel things that even my therapist once told me that I’ve said really cruel things. But there are a few good parts of me
What’s funny is that I was made to feel pathetic, stupid, disgusting, ugly, gross for so many years of my life that I let the remanent feelings from those words stay with me with every step of my journey and I’ve made other people feel whati felt. Hear what I heard and see what I have seen and still see in myself and for the past few days, it’s hit me again.
I cant go back physically, I can go back and look through and analyze old things, but I can’t physically take an eraser and eliminate the bad things, I can only improve myself and move forward with time.
I see myself as a good person with mixed intentions and a shaky exterior.