Coming from an umbrella, I’ve been sheltered under the wings of righteous talk but thrown under the bus whenever I picked and chose what I needed to believe in

So I turned away from the one consistancy I had, walking in directions leading closer to the fictional hell people believe in and it’s ironic how I was kissed so early on with a taste of dark chaos and right then and there

No wonder I was a quiet baby until I was two, I was the spawn of all things evil disguised as a cute coo

Soft like the sunrise, changing colours like a Chameleon, only my surroundings kept changing without any of my say

Maybe you expected some sort of thunder instead of lightening, but I had to throw your boat over in order for myself to be the raging sea that my head swims in

I can barely swim most days, but that’s where I went wrong expecting you to lift me up and prevent me from drowning

Safety vest at best, termoil at worst
And to picture them with their arms smothering what I could have makes my body want to hit the wall, body bag slamming

I have no idea how to open up without spilling, I don’t have a cup, I’ve been given a nice silver chalice, one sip at a time they said, let them take one sip, but I was so covered in rust that the measurements weren’t clear and soon one cup became 6 pools worth of rain

You needed an arm when I had a finger, all the rest were pointing back to me, shown at 3 that things don’t always go your way, so small, so innocent but I let that slip

Had to be tough, had to be the rock and kill off parts of myself for others to fees off of, I was the movement of the veins and the pulsing of people’s hearts

Now the benches have turned and it’s too cold to rest my head on the railing, I’ve run my course running along four track minds

All I have is this piece of writing to show that I have some sort of imagination, I used to write about what love felt like before I knew how to even like something about myself

You strive towards good beginnings and goodbyes but I keep goodbyes alive, that’s why I hate them, ending things is what I need, but I have hope that one day it will remain see you later instead of the opposite

Good morning, now hey what’s up?
Been thinking of you. Oh really? Thanks, appreciative of your kind ways.
Ah we talk every day. Oh hey it’s been a few weeks, just checking in.

And there you have it, total consistent, inconsistent became the norm, becomes the floss between your teeth and the hair that never stops growing.


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