Anger resides, but so does happiness

I’ve tried, tried to what though? Battle something, go through somewhat of a struggle
and you think your struggles are struggles to anyone else?
They aren’t though, they want to say to me but nothing comes out
so i just sit here, sitting here hurts though and all I wnt to do is spill more and more to you
but spilling masks, it doesn’t heal me and maybe for the time being, given, it helps temporarily, like a sip of the dark awakening that is alcohol to my veins
In the long run, they’re just getting buried deeper, they mean whatever those things are
feelings? heart broken left overs and empy caresses maybe
and i keep trudging through this mess, this landmine of my own weapons
that keep backfiring on me
therapy, fucking therapy i keep telling myself
and all iw ant to do is love, fucking love
i have so much to give, or so i keep trying, attempting to tell people
why won’t it come out, because i don’t believe that i deserve to be happy?
so the anger resides inside, deep, just sitting waiting for me to explode into a million firearms
it doesn’t appear until the darkest of times, even when i least expect it and

Oh, oh man do i ever want to just destroy everything that makes you happy

call me selfish, but it’s how i feel because, why should someone have things their way and i just want to let my demons eat at me because its what i know
these sad songs make me feel alive, hell, so do even the darkest things
maybe they’re not dark for others, but theyre what make me eat myself alive
i want you, oh god, i want you, satan whispers sweet tradgedies to me and i make myself appear to be the baddest of all men
although i have such a sweet interior
remember when i told you i hide myself? the truth is, i bare myself, make myself naked to the world, i lie but out of honesty
i second guess all of my self worth because its how others preceived me to be
this little innocent girl, baby girl is what i am to some, an asshole to others, and a broken souless person to most
at the end of the day, i want to be buried in what you call your arms, even if they didn’t heal me i need one of those heal like body touches

 

 

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